Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Indulging

If for one second I could indulge
And forget what ever I've been told
Forget the rules and all the moves 
Neglecting poise and silky smooth
I would indulge my heart and mind in you
I would indulge like lovers on at two

A chocolaty caramel sensation
Intense like physical penetration
Blood flow high and colors racing
I would indulge in you like I was tasting
Sweet sweet mud, of my mother’s making
If only you could feel what I’m anticipating
You’d never leave me dry for breaking...

I am a goddess in my mind
And you, my subject, owe a fine
You can see a twinkle in my eye
You’re scared to death that you might die
“Come here”,  I say
And you step forward
I glance at you walking closer
Grab you by your neck and say
“HOW COULD YOU?  DISOBEY!”
Come with me to my own corridors
And right behind you close the doors

If you could see how you make me smile
You’d probably stay longer than a while
It’s not natural for one to have such an affect
Especially on a hardened chest
But here’s a map that leads you to the key
And when you come back I’ll know you’ve come for me
You’ll unlock and find softness in there
Softness that only a few haven’t feared
Indulge yourself in me with tears

If I became your fantasy
Whipped cream and cheery toppings
Everything that’s to your liking
Would you forget the world for your pipe dreams?
That is, me... 
Would you forget the world to chase
Something that only exists in your own space
Indulge, My Love, in true existence
It isn’t real until you invent it
If they can do it, who says we can’t?
If we could indulge for just one second



-Janae Rockwell-

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Dedication

So its been so long since I've published a new blog! 

The only thing that's on my mind right now is music, work and always love [=. I've never realized what dedication meant until now. Giving "your life" to a cause or an idea. Something that you'd lay down your life for
Eat it, breathe it, research it, love it. I've been searching for something  worthy to dedicate my life to. Something positive and beneficial to the world and myself. I've witness one person's dedication; Kyries Hebert. And it change my idea of the world and fate. He makes his own decisions. He runs his own business. Because he was dedicated to his cause and ready for the opportunities.   
Now that I've discovered the meaning of DEDICATION I think I'm almost there
.....

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Dedicated to a Broken Heart



Theres a storm brewing inside my heart
I'm willing to bet that this is just the start
and even though I'll never have you back again
I just can't accept it as the end
If you're happy 
I am too
But how can I be happy 
Without you
And how can you be happy without me
It was you who promised me eternity
Inside I cry
Even looking into my lovers eyes
Does he know my love's not true
Can he feel my heart belongs to you
I'll walk the Earth looking for you 
and as a love story 
My ghost will too 


..I'll be waiting
                    come back soon....


-Janae

Monday, March 15, 2010

Perverted

They stay asking why I keep on giving up
So I just look down at the empty in my cup
You got everything that you need and the people too
And I keep on asking God why don’t he just make me you?
I keep getting here
But there are no tears
Nothing can make me cry anymore
I touched the ocean floor and it just kept on sinking
So I decided to fall there until I reached something

Now half my life’s almost gone
I aint got nothing to account for but my wrongs
I breathe air and feel like I’m gonna drown
And when I look up all I see is the ground
Now, I’ve shed my blood, sweat and time
And to this day I don’t even have a dime
So one has to ask themselves, “What’s living”
‘Cause I’m only one pebble away from tripping

Even if I make something of myself
Would I be as happy as everyone else?
Or is it just a show that y’all put on
‘Cause I would like to know where’s the casting call
I’ve been desperate in my attempts to reach God
Stay crying out... Why don’t you hear me Lord?
But ever since one day I’ve been accountable for all my sins
And I thought there was protection over ignorance
I fold one piece of clothing at a time
And just like that the years don’t even stop to say Hi
So I ask Him could he finally just take my life
‘Cause I’m not going down for suicide

If your saying, “Wow”, please know that I was grateful
But everybody has their last straw  

California where the sun don’t shine
Whoever said it don’t rain in Cali, Lied
‘cause it won’t stop raining on my parade
So I gave up hopin’ for a brighter day
And when you feel like you’re doing it, you’re not
Tomorrow comes and day by day YOUR dreams are stopped
You keep reaching up just to get dropped
And then you find there is no bottom stop

Why wasn’t it me born happy?
Why was I granted so many difficulties?
They’re so minute but they’re their own little army
And they keep killing every single opportunity
So I smoke and I drink and I think and I contemplate
And I hope and I pray that these flaws will just run away
And I’m down, down so, so low
And I’d rather not forgive or let go

Maybe misery is just my calling
I’m so comfortable now it’s fun not smiling  

-Janae (written 6/28/09)