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UNIVERSAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Janae Poem

I’ve never traveled but I’ve explored

I’ve laid down and cried in my bed before

I’ve sobbed over boys and I’ve sobbed over girls

I've sobbed over toys and I’ve sobbed over love

I’ve dominated my domain

And I’ve kept consistency day to day

I’ve cut out fear

And I’ve cut out crime

I’ve reached perfection in my life

I’ve smiled and I’ve laughed

Grieved and been depressed

Till 16 as a mess

Then 4 years counting in defense 

I’ve been a teen

And a substitute adult

I’ve done so many things wrong

And still tag it as my fault

Betrayed by friends

And forgiven many

I pray for forgiveness

And given plenty

Expanded borders

And crossed a few

Lines I crossed with some you

I was young

Impressionable at one time

But now today my heart doesn’t live the same lie

I’ve been blamed and been innocent

I’ve been guilty and free of sin

I’ve rescued a dog and fed the poor

I gave 5 dollars and wished to give more

I’ve been abused but never felt it

I’ve been accused but never convicted

I am Human

I am just like the rest

I wake up every morning and try my best

I give my last nerve and I say my last word

I connect with the past

And I heal the hurt

I move forward like a human is supposed to do

And in my songs and poems I represent you

Any questions? Read this again today

Hello, my friend , my name is Janae.

Trust

I’ll never act like I’m annoyed with you 

If you don’t act annoyed with me

And I’ll never be so impatient with you 

If you’re not so impatient with me

Because I love you 

And I’m only reacting to the things you put me through

But if you treat me really good

I’ll treat you really good too 

Dear Diary,

My thoughts may come out slow

But I want to let you know

That I fell in love today

It was only with his face

And the taste of his cologne

But I learned something’s about him

From the fragrance in my nose

He’s and honest man.

And from the spice

It was clear that he cared about the simple things in life

I got close enough to touch him

He had just the right amount on

Evidently he cares about first impressions

But doesn’t come off too strong

He’s a gentle man with a clear conscience

About the person he’s become

And he’d rather let a person speak

Before he asks what’s wrong

He’s easy going and not a cheap man either

I could tell that if he has a girl

He’d really like to please her

And from the way he dressed

To the look shone from his eyes

It’s apparent he’s a caring man

Filled with love in his life time

I hope one day I meet him

And he tells me his full name

But I’ll remember his scent meanwhile

Until we meet again.

With much affection and a flaming heart of desire,

Janae

The People

I was going to make this into a song but, a letter in writing has a universal language for all The People. 


The People


    Thank you God for all the people in my life. 
    Even though I've..

Left Them,

Mocked Them,

Hated Them,

Hurt Them,

Used Them,

Changed Them.

     They still cared about Me.
               Loved Me.
               Took Me.
          Shared with Me.
             Forgave Me.


    The PEOPLE are.... Fearless.

    and I would not be who I am today without the people being who they are. 

They brought me back to God. Showed me true love.

Thank You People

Thank you God for The People. 

I love them

I love you, God.

I’ve been

Drinking more than I’ve been singing

Blogging more than I’ve been thinking

Mad because I am not gifted 

Stupid 

I’ve been 

Crying because I realized I’m 

Dying, I won’t get two chances 

Trying

So I give up lying 

Here’s where I stand

I’m over compensating for

An illusion I won’t be more

I look at the stars and say 

That could be me

One day 

One day

I’ve been 

Lying down more than I’m trying 

Picking fights more than I’m writing

Plotting how to get you to believe

This star in me

I’ve been 

Spying on all who threaten

Those who sing better than I can 

Id lay down my life for my dream and 

I’m frightened

I’m over compensating for

An illusion I won’t be more

I look at the stars and say 

That could be me

One day 

One day

A thought..

Tonight I can't sleep 

I only get attention when I, for him, do good things

Maybe that's the way the world works and this is one of relationship's perks

But I cannot do this forever

Just so when you feel good we can be together

Either you love me or you don't

through the bad times and the faults

Honey, I refuse 

To only feel good when you do

you need to treat me with embracement all the time

Otherwise, find another to make you smile.

-janae  

For You

So they ask me, "Why aren't you taken?"

Thinking somethings wrong with me

But they don't realize I've just been waiting

And my absence of company is a blessing

I am free for you 

Been waiting for you 

Everything has its time

And I believe time saved itself to make you mine

Now, I've never I doubted
Never have I changed 
my mind about what we would have 
honestly I cannot wait

I would give you the best part of me 
I want to show you how good love can be 
wait until you find me 
we can make love anything
its already happening


Never will I fail you 
Never will I fail to 
Give you everything that you deserve 

It came together

Not before or after 

But right on time 

-janae

My Rap

Darius

watup

10:08pmMe

hey

10:09pmDarius

how are you

10:09pmMe

good how are you?

10:10pmDarius

i can't complain... i saw your rap on here i just wanted to let you know i thought it was mad creative

10:11pmMe

aww thank you so much

comment on it please!!

im really happy you enjoyed it

10:12pmDarius

you're welcome... and i will do that now!

yea it had me laughin when you said somethin along the lines of "i bet you watch this to the end" or somethin like that... cause i didn't even THINK about turnin it off until it was over

10:12pmMe

thank you so much

haha!!

10:12pmDarius

you're welcome

10:12pmMe

cool

I LOVE THINGS LIKE THIS; WHEN I GET 'EM MY WHOLE MOTIVATION IF FIRED UP AGAIN (: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND LOVE


-JANAE

Indulging

If for one second I could indulge

And forget what ever I've been told

Forget the rules and all the moves 

Neglecting poise and silky smooth

I would indulge my heart and mind in you

I would indulge like lovers on at two

A chocolaty caramel sensation

Intense like physical penetration

Blood flow high and colors racing

I would indulge in you like I was tasting

Sweet sweet mud, of my mother’s making

If only you could feel what I’m anticipating

You’d never leave me dry for breaking...

I am a goddess in my mind

And you, my subject, owe a fine

You can see a twinkle in my eye

You’re scared to death that you might die

“Come here”,  I say

And you step forward

I glance at you walking closer

Grab you by your neck and say

“HOW COULD YOU?  DISOBEY!”

Come with me to my own corridors

And right behind you close the doors

If you could see how you make me smile

You’d probably stay longer than a while

It’s not natural for one to have such an affect

Especially on a hardened chest

But here’s a map that leads you to the key

And when you come back I’ll know you’ve come for me

You’ll unlock and find softness in there

Softness that only a few haven’t feared

Indulge yourself in me with tears

If I became your fantasy

Whipped cream and cheery toppings

Everything that’s to your liking

Would you forget the world for your pipe dreams?

That is, me... 

Would you forget the world to chase

Something that only exists in your own space

Indulge, My Love, in true existence

It isn’t real until you invent it

If they can do it, who says we can’t?

If we could indulge for just one second

-Janae Rockwell-

Dedication

So its been so long since I've published a new blog! 

The only thing that's on my mind right now is music, work and always love [=. I've never realized what dedication meant until now. Giving "your life" to a cause or an idea. Something that you'd lay down your life for. 

Eat it, breathe it, research it, love it. I've been searching for something  worthy to dedicate my life to. Something positive and beneficial to the world and myself. I've witness one person's dedication; Kyries Hebert. And it change my idea of the world and fate. He makes his own decisions. He runs his own business. Because he was dedicated to his cause and ready for the opportunities.   

Now that I've discovered the meaning of DEDICATION I think I'm almost there

.....

My Boyfriend's Back

OMGEE! GET IT GIRLZ!!! * AWESOME+NESS!

the big eye cool

THE FUNNIEST VIDEO EVER IN LIFE!! STARE!!

Janae Rockwell Sings MVP to Fans in Hollywood

Dedicated to a Broken Heart

Theres a storm brewing inside my heart
I'm willing to bet that this is just the start
and even though I'll never have you back again
I just can't accept it as the end
If you're happy 
I am too
But how can I be happy 
Without you
And how can you be happy without me
It was you who promised me eternity
Inside I cry
Even looking into my lovers eyes
Does he know my love's not true
Can he feel my heart belongs to you
I'll walk the Earth looking for you 
and as a love story 
My ghost will too 


..I'll be waiting
                    come back soon....


-Janae

Janae Rockwell Dress Rehearsal

Perverted

They stay asking why I keep on giving up

So I just look down at the empty in my cup

You got everything that you need and the people too

And I keep on asking God why don’t he just make me you?

I keep getting here

But there are no tears

Nothing can make me cry anymore

I touched the ocean floor and it just kept on sinking

So I decided to fall there until I reached something

Now half my life’s almost gone

I aint got nothing to account for but my wrongs

I breathe air and feel like I’m gonna drown

And when I look up all I see is the ground

Now, I’ve shed my blood, sweat and time

And to this day I don’t even have a dime

So one has to ask themselves, “What’s living”

‘Cause I’m only one pebble away from tripping

Even if I make something of myself

Would I be as happy as everyone else?

Or is it just a show that y’all put on

‘Cause I would like to know where’s the casting call

I’ve been desperate in my attempts to reach God

Stay crying out... Why don’t you hear me Lord?

But ever since one day I’ve been accountable for all my sins

And I thought there was protection over ignorance

I fold one piece of clothing at a time

And just like that the years don’t even stop to say Hi

So I ask Him could he finally just take my life

‘Cause I’m not going down for suicide

If your saying, “Wow”, please know that I was grateful

But everybody has their last straw  

California where the sun don’t shine

Whoever said it don’t rain in Cali, Lied

‘cause it won’t stop raining on my parade

So I gave up hopin’ for a brighter day

And when you feel like you’re doing it, you’re not

Tomorrow comes and day by day YOUR dreams are stopped

You keep reaching up just to get dropped

And then you find there is no bottom stop

Why wasn’t it me born happy?

Why was I granted so many difficulties?

They’re so minute but they’re their own little army

And they keep killing every single opportunity

So I smoke and I drink and I think and I contemplate

And I hope and I pray that these flaws will just run away

And I’m down, down so, so low

And I’d rather not forgive or let go

Maybe misery is just my calling

I’m so comfortable now it’s fun not smiling  

-Janae (written 6/28/09)