Perverted

They stay asking why I keep on giving up

So I just look down at the empty in my cup

You got everything that you need and the people too

And I keep on asking God why don’t he just make me you?

I keep getting here

But there are no tears

Nothing can make me cry anymore

I touched the ocean floor and it just kept on sinking

So I decided to fall there until I reached something

Now half my life’s almost gone

I aint got nothing to account for but my wrongs

I breathe air and feel like I’m gonna drown

And when I look up all I see is the ground

Now, I’ve shed my blood, sweat and time

And to this day I don’t even have a dime

So one has to ask themselves, “What’s living”

‘Cause I’m only one pebble away from tripping

Even if I make something of myself

Would I be as happy as everyone else?

Or is it just a show that y’all put on

‘Cause I would like to know where’s the casting call

I’ve been desperate in my attempts to reach God

Stay crying out... Why don’t you hear me Lord?

But ever since one day I’ve been accountable for all my sins

And I thought there was protection over ignorance

I fold one piece of clothing at a time

And just like that the years don’t even stop to say Hi

So I ask Him could he finally just take my life

‘Cause I’m not going down for suicide

If your saying, “Wow”, please know that I was grateful

But everybody has their last straw  

California where the sun don’t shine

Whoever said it don’t rain in Cali, Lied

‘cause it won’t stop raining on my parade

So I gave up hopin’ for a brighter day

And when you feel like you’re doing it, you’re not

Tomorrow comes and day by day YOUR dreams are stopped

You keep reaching up just to get dropped

And then you find there is no bottom stop

Why wasn’t it me born happy?

Why was I granted so many difficulties?

They’re so minute but they’re their own little army

And they keep killing every single opportunity

So I smoke and I drink and I think and I contemplate

And I hope and I pray that these flaws will just run away

And I’m down, down so, so low

And I’d rather not forgive or let go

Maybe misery is just my calling

I’m so comfortable now it’s fun not smiling  

-Janae (written 6/28/09)

Dear Mr. Men,

Dear Mr. Men,

All women just want to be treated special. She wants to feel appreciated. We women only want for you to walk through the door and shout, " Baby! I've been thinking about you all day!" 

We just want to be adored! 

A woman will change her appearance, friends, and her name for a man that she loves, just to make him happy. And what she wants in return is an admiring look... A few flattering words... embracement and a few surprises here and there (; 

If you don’t have a lot of money that’s okay because love goes further than lifestyle. A woman could live in the harshest of conditions if every night you tell her how much you genuinely love and appreciate her.

A walk through the park with just the holding of her hand. A candle lit microwave dinner. A good morning and good night kiss to start and end the day. Just a smile when she comes in the room. Effort, to SHOW how much you really do care is all we ask. And if you can top these things, more power to ya! 

Studies have shown you really do affect our moods, mental states, behaviors and work ethics. But that’s only because we're down for you. We want to feel what you feel. We want to know what you need. And we love you so much that we will do almost anything to make you happy and proud of us like daughters for their fathers. But we need that love. That assured, honest, cherished, respectful love- such as a loving father gives his beautiful daughters day in and day out without fail. He's not loud with them, he doesn’t hit them, and he would never walk out on his daughters. He comes home every night, tucks them in bed, hugs in the morning and adventures during the day. 

Nobody’s perfect. Nothing is perfect. But effort can go such a long way. 

Now I’m no expert. And I can only speak for myself and for the ladies that I know, but Men! I solemnly swear, if you treat your woman Special, she will steal bricks from the president to build you, her king, a palace. 

** SIDE NOTE*** 

Keep in mind men, she chose you just like you chose her. Courting (devoted attention in order to win favor) shouldn't stop. Trying to please shouldn't stop. Neither one of you should get so comfortable that you quit trying to KEEP each other [Happy]. 

Go and get her TIGER!

-Janae