Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I live in the Movies, Dont You?

Things are not as easy as it seems like in the movies. 
things don’t happen over night.
it’s not that easy to tell the difference between friend and foe.
there’s no dramatic irony where we can see both sides of the stage. 
instead there’s time, and progression and arguments and real live interaction. 
I know I’ve lost touch with myself discipline and sense of reality trying to mimic what I see on TV. 
I mean, come on let’s be honest, we're all trying to be that successful business man with a beautiful wife and hot secretary. The caring nurse that saves the day and has all the antidotes for her patience’s and personal lives of her associates. The funny guy that gets all the passes, the drama queen whose life's astray but in the end every day turns out a little for the better. The sleek, witty woman with all of her earthly desires. the sleek, witty man doing nothing all day but his hearts desires. an office geek; morally correct. the vengeful little nerd who personally waited and worked his whole life for his enemies demise. the super hero, the chosen healer, vampires, haunting ghost, the one in a million who got recognized by an outstanding figure for their talent and is now a mega super hit worldwide.  Just special... in my opinion. 
I must admit my desire to be special overheads my interpretation... many of times, day in and day out. But we are who we are for a reason, right? Why am I not you and you not me? 
I wish only for time's plot to reveal itself quickly. I just hope to not look up one day and wonder where time went. why have i wasted all my years in a dream?
I think that we all just want to be important, significant, know that our lives have some type of explanation. bc in the movies they do. in the movies, each life counts (whether they’re getting paid or not!) we see them and think, "if only....” or maybe I'm just speaking for myself. 
I wish things were as easy in the movies. a few takes and I’m in shape, in love, in a million dollar deal. but the movies rarely show a realistic, in depth, detailed and reasonable way to get what you want or go where you planned. Nor do they show a "star" in living room light. Like where I'm at now. hum... I wonder which one of us will make it to the movies first. 'cause I’m not settling for this lamp above me! it makes me look fat! 

Lights. Camera. Action!!!!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry

CHRISTMAS!! I love this time of year! 
People are happy and almost everybody has a reason to smile. Its the greatest reason for families reuniting, friends reuniting... lovers.... reuniting! YYAY! 
And a reason hope and believe that good things do happen! 
I wish EVERYDAY could be Christmas, honestly! 
God Bless you and Happy Bday JC!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Truth.. Youre Probably Wondering

I guess youre probably wondering why I'm sharing myself here on Blogger. And thats a very good question. BUT if I can make this clear, and I will try, its something about admitting the truth to another human being, if there is anybody who reads this and I bet there are ppl out there, that releases and frees you from a forever, downing blackness  
Now you have to be totally honest. Cuz ppl can see through lies, even written ones. 
The 5th step in the 12 steps to Serenity (or AA) is that you admitted to God, yourself and Another Human Being the exact nature of our wrong doings. And step 4 is made a moral inventory of ourselves. 
If you've been reading my blogs, youve noticed more confessions then rambling.. though I do try to pass them off as such.
Since I dont know you and you cant judge me (to my knowing)
This helps me. When I have nobody to talk to. I can say anything I want here... to you. 

RIP Brittany Murphy

Sunday, December 13, 2009

M0NAYY POEM








I can’t lie... I must confess...
Everyday I wish that I was filthy rich. 
It makes mad when I wake up
And there’s no maid bringing my cup. 
My detergent cost 2 dollars
And I guess it cleans...
But I want Tide to make it squeak! 
My shoes break and then that’s that...
But I want boots that warm and strap! 
I leaned to do my hair by hand
And lift heavy things with my manly pants 
Yes we do things the HARD way
I cant wait 'till money works for me!
My life’s at risk cuz I can’t afford 
24/7 body guards
I dream of Maybach's and Bentley coops 
While I ride in your Honda with you 
I can’t help but to imagine duck and escargot 
As we chow down on good ol' McDonalds. 
Ohh what a life I dream to live 
I see it now on The Rich and Famous
Indoor pools and elevators 
Silk stockings and authentic furs
Plastic surgery and private jets
Chihuahuas and 800 count thread
But that would be confusing, wouldn’t it?
I think I like my life and where I’m at 
bc I know the names of all my friends 
and can keep track of every dollar spent. 
Yes I enjoy my simple life 
And besides I need something to dream about at night!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Quicky Uno


caught myself bn jealous today.. then realized jealousy is just fear. youll never guess what i was scared of .. and i dont have the guts to share BUT this too shall pass.. im no coward. all i can do is be the best me and let God take care of the rest