02/17/11

I have my flaws and Ill never be perfect 
but the PEOPLE around me make me feel like I'm worth it 
everyday they brighten up my life
and we exchange real love that is clear and concise 

life has never been a fairytale 

but with love you couldn't to tell

it doesn't matter if ppl think that you're soft

its important to do what you are taught

So I may not have a clear direction of where i want to go 
but WHO I AM  is something that I know 
And if I serve God.... things will go...

                                  the way they're supposed to go




 L O V E with all YOUR M I G H T ... 
                                      and it comes BACK triple time

Have you ever..

Have you ever felt like the world was too much

and you had given so much 

best wasn't enough 

and you're not allowed to cry?

Have you ever felt like you didn't fit in

embarrassed for more than just the color of your skin 

you didn't asked to be different 

And you wanted to leave the world behind?

Or have you ever felt under pressure 

a voice tried to be your mentor  

but ppl might've talked about you 

and you just wanted to hide?

Welcome to the war 

these things are real

these things I feel 

U are not alone. 

I found somebody to look up to 

Who went through what I do 

and the war will be over soon 

Look up to me as I look up to you

Have you ever had something to say 

but you let the moment pass away 

and when you're alone home and safe 

you say it out loud to yourself? 

Have you ever searched for something that made you special

you came up empty handed and ruffled 

and in the midst of all hell

you only realized why they were better than you were? 

Have you ever thought that nobody understood?

Even when they said they did

so you live your life inside your head 

you understand yourself better anyway.. 

Have you ever forced yourself to be untrue 

you just wanted to smile like they do

but it never felt right to you 

you lost yourself along that way..? 

Have you ever screamed at the top of your lungs 

glaring at the reflection in the mirror 

it's so unfair 

tears never stopped.. they never seem to dry? 

A piece of you is similar to a piece of me

If you happened to answer yes to any of these 

I face each problem every single day 

And we are not alone 

we're in good company (:

Be strong. We have it in us, the war will soon fear US!


((:

Relish

You see things differently than I do.
Thats exactly why I love you.
Forget the clothes and the way you look
Its your energy thats got me hooked.
A little piece of paradise in staring slowly in your eyes
A little piece of heavens cake the sweetness never dies


A star next to you is only invisible
The world next to you is only a ball
A picture next to you is only some markings
and a king next to you would fall


Im winded. But Im more alive
Im floating. But Im in this place
For you. Forever


Id crush a mountain if I couldnt see you
Swallow the sea if I couldnt reach you
You are the furniture in my heart
The muscle in my skin
do you see it now?
Im strong. Im full. all because of you
You are my seat belt that fastens me in route
My protection. My connection. My vessel to the world
And if it wasnt us at the end, then I'd be one lonely girl
My head aches no longer
for my healer has arrived
clouds are dark no longer
for the sun turned on its light.

Lost Love Letter Left for my Lover

My Dearest,

My passion flows so deeply for you that I find words to be useless. There is a long forgotten flame that you've happened to stubble upon and ignited. I don't believe it could have been lit by anyone else. there is a heat in your touch that arouses my blood. And a texture in you voice that sails my skin. there is a vibration in you lips that tremble my nerves. and a lust in your eyes that vanishes the world. 

i would get lost in space with you. if you would hold me for all time. 

I will long remember these words verbatim in written sequences as i have rehearsed them repeatedly to the air. i touch the air as if you were there in front of me. i wrap my sheets around me as if it were your body pressed so tightly with mine like atoms infusing. i would be a chemical with you. we would never part. there would be no method to divide us equally to our independent states. 

my desire for you dives far past longing. i yearn for you as a weapon yearns for flesh. i copy your expressions in my memory to recall on after you have left. i dedicate moments in my day to you as to make you proud. i saved my fortress for you, king. no acknowledgements required. all of this is for the love i feel in your presents. it glows so warm that it carries me to our next encounter. a day without you is ten years without rain in the desert. and hours without you equates to centuries without sunlight in the north. 

i say this the only way i know how; in truth. and im sitting here at my desk contemplating heavens arrival, that is, when you come back to my arms, my love. when you are near my heart skips a beat and when we touch they race the same speed. and it responds only to you. you're my hearts only keeper, caller and desire. my soul reaches for you without my body knowing. am i possessed? 

nature is the most brilliant essence of virtue. and when i look into the moons radiant halo, all i seem to think about is you. a storm has cast over a city and the thunderous clouds remind me of your strength. a white dove flies passed my car window as it rains and i can only think of your gentleness. and upon thinking of the magnitude of a star, i am only brought back to your greatness. 

i don't want to know how. i am just happy that this is. i know you experience my joy when you witness unforeseen tears fall from my eyes in moments of silence between us. it is only necessary that we stay together. i cannot fathom an inch of time deprived of a single splash of you against the coating of my life. 


And if you're here I am here. I'll never be here without you. I'll never go there until you allow me to, with you. Be mine like a Valentine candy would quote. Run with me through a lifetime so we can catch up to eternity. Just you an me. 
From your immeasurable, indefinite, limitless Janae 
I dedicate my time and space 
to You 
Forever.

who's your publisher?

UNIVERSAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ask me anything

Janae Poem

I’ve never traveled but I’ve explored

I’ve laid down and cried in my bed before

I’ve sobbed over boys and I’ve sobbed over girls

I've sobbed over toys and I’ve sobbed over love

I’ve dominated my domain

And I’ve kept consistency day to day

I’ve cut out fear

And I’ve cut out crime

I’ve reached perfection in my life

I’ve smiled and I’ve laughed

Grieved and been depressed

Till 16 as a mess

Then 4 years counting in defense 

I’ve been a teen

And a substitute adult

I’ve done so many things wrong

And still tag it as my fault

Betrayed by friends

And forgiven many

I pray for forgiveness

And given plenty

Expanded borders

And crossed a few

Lines I crossed with some you

I was young

Impressionable at one time

But now today my heart doesn’t live the same lie

I’ve been blamed and been innocent

I’ve been guilty and free of sin

I’ve rescued a dog and fed the poor

I gave 5 dollars and wished to give more

I’ve been abused but never felt it

I’ve been accused but never convicted

I am Human

I am just like the rest

I wake up every morning and try my best

I give my last nerve and I say my last word

I connect with the past

And I heal the hurt

I move forward like a human is supposed to do

And in my songs and poems I represent you

Any questions? Read this again today

Hello, my friend , my name is Janae.

Trust

I’ll never act like I’m annoyed with you 

If you don’t act annoyed with me

And I’ll never be so impatient with you 

If you’re not so impatient with me

Because I love you 

And I’m only reacting to the things you put me through

But if you treat me really good

I’ll treat you really good too 

Dear Diary,

My thoughts may come out slow

But I want to let you know

That I fell in love today

It was only with his face

And the taste of his cologne

But I learned something’s about him

From the fragrance in my nose

He’s and honest man.

And from the spice

It was clear that he cared about the simple things in life

I got close enough to touch him

He had just the right amount on

Evidently he cares about first impressions

But doesn’t come off too strong

He’s a gentle man with a clear conscience

About the person he’s become

And he’d rather let a person speak

Before he asks what’s wrong

He’s easy going and not a cheap man either

I could tell that if he has a girl

He’d really like to please her

And from the way he dressed

To the look shone from his eyes

It’s apparent he’s a caring man

Filled with love in his life time

I hope one day I meet him

And he tells me his full name

But I’ll remember his scent meanwhile

Until we meet again.

With much affection and a flaming heart of desire,

Janae