My City

You approach My City 
I ring my bells 
You and your armor 
Step on my grounds
Viciously 
I rebel
And alarm the people 
On my walls 


We tighten our search 
For men like you 
To make sure
You never intrude 
Guard on guard 
Two on two 
We're hunting ones that look like you 


And you get close 
But not close enough
Your foot's in the water 
But you won't touch 
The tan sands of my beaches 
Or the waves that crush 
You will never live in the city 
With Us


Yet you still approach
I am the anchor that holds with rust  
I will attack men and armory 
I will protect My city 
I have alarmed the clergy 
And you will NOT enter 
Within Me.

Love-Her

Although she's had many, many lovers 

She still searches for someone that could love her

.. That can handle all of her

Just like she handled all of her lovers 

She runs deep like the ocean 

Her vices, she cant control them 

And if you asked her what her name is

She'd have to pause for a moment 

She's been talked about  

But survived 

In her skin she lives a life 

That she has never been satisfied. 

You ask her who she was, 

She wont tell you a lie 

She's a woman that knows she had a chance 

A chance to change her ways 

But she let her mind keep her the same 

Many men have passed her way 

She can feel them

But can't say their names

And I don't think she really cares

All the burdens that she bares

All those violent, crushing stares 

All those things she has to hear.. 

If one man had only loved her

She would only have one lover 

All she wanted was some one to love her 

So she passes on, lover to lover 

LAER EVOL

Like a knee-jerk reaction,

we get defensive

and say, "fuck love".

But, I know of

two ppl who want the same thing.

Strong enough

to stand with no armor on.

Naked.

Just like a night exposed to a dawn

Ready to flinch,

but fret no bruises.

Ready to run,

but weigh the option

Ready to dodge,

but forgot what's taught them:

Fear…

…….. finally, has left them

I unfold.

You unfold.

And we're even.

You lay down your gun.

I lay down my vest.

pleasantly defenseless 

I submit.

You submit.

Infinitely worth it.

and we do it every time, just to test it.

But it's who we are,

Underneath those metal sheets.

I cringe as I reveal a little piece of me..

in my hand from my sleeve...

from my heart

against the grain.

(can he accept it or will he change lanes) 

open one eye just to see

If you

can handle a smaller portion of me.

And unclose both eyes....

slowely.

Gratefully surprised.

You embraced it,

and, I the same.

and we risk the same odds

time and time again

equally and compatibly 

No egos, just self

Two people with common sense.

No hollywood bullshit.

Reset Expectations.

No delusive misconceptions.

All Loving

and Understanding,

Accepting

and refreshing

….. amazing … and i love it…

blessed with a vulnerable moment. 

The only thing I can thank you for is the bandage. 

friend?

i almost cried.

then i remembered life's too short to spend time

on ppl who make you feel 2nd rate.

life is love. life is not hate.

i stuck with you to receive nothing.

and every time it mattered for me,

ur friendship was only bluffing.

now here i am in pain and alone

and i cant even be mad at you.

this is a pattern you've constantly shown

and why i thought this time would be different...?

the definition of insanity is truly significant.

and to know you can replace me so quickly

trampling all of those years,

that shit wasnt easy!

I almost cried.

but then i remembered life's too short to spend time

on ppl who make you feel 2nd rate

life is love. life is not hate.

02/17/11

I have my flaws and Ill never be perfect 
but the PEOPLE around me make me feel like I'm worth it 
everyday they brighten up my life
and we exchange real love that is clear and concise 

life has never been a fairytale 

but with love you couldn't to tell

it doesn't matter if ppl think that you're soft

its important to do what you are taught

So I may not have a clear direction of where i want to go 
but WHO I AM  is something that I know 
And if I serve God.... things will go...

                                  the way they're supposed to go




 L O V E with all YOUR M I G H T ... 
                                      and it comes BACK triple time

Have you ever..

Have you ever felt like the world was too much

and you had given so much 

best wasn't enough 

and you're not allowed to cry?

Have you ever felt like you didn't fit in

embarrassed for more than just the color of your skin 

you didn't asked to be different 

And you wanted to leave the world behind?

Or have you ever felt under pressure 

a voice tried to be your mentor  

but ppl might've talked about you 

and you just wanted to hide?

Welcome to the war 

these things are real

these things I feel 

U are not alone. 

I found somebody to look up to 

Who went through what I do 

and the war will be over soon 

Look up to me as I look up to you

Have you ever had something to say 

but you let the moment pass away 

and when you're alone home and safe 

you say it out loud to yourself? 

Have you ever searched for something that made you special

you came up empty handed and ruffled 

and in the midst of all hell

you only realized why they were better than you were? 

Have you ever thought that nobody understood?

Even when they said they did

so you live your life inside your head 

you understand yourself better anyway.. 

Have you ever forced yourself to be untrue 

you just wanted to smile like they do

but it never felt right to you 

you lost yourself along that way..? 

Have you ever screamed at the top of your lungs 

glaring at the reflection in the mirror 

it's so unfair 

tears never stopped.. they never seem to dry? 

A piece of you is similar to a piece of me

If you happened to answer yes to any of these 

I face each problem every single day 

And we are not alone 

we're in good company (:

Be strong. We have it in us, the war will soon fear US!


((:

Relish

You see things differently than I do.
Thats exactly why I love you.
Forget the clothes and the way you look
Its your energy thats got me hooked.
A little piece of paradise in staring slowly in your eyes
A little piece of heavens cake the sweetness never dies


A star next to you is only invisible
The world next to you is only a ball
A picture next to you is only some markings
and a king next to you would fall


Im winded. But Im more alive
Im floating. But Im in this place
For you. Forever


Id crush a mountain if I couldnt see you
Swallow the sea if I couldnt reach you
You are the furniture in my heart
The muscle in my skin
do you see it now?
Im strong. Im full. all because of you
You are my seat belt that fastens me in route
My protection. My connection. My vessel to the world
And if it wasnt us at the end, then I'd be one lonely girl
My head aches no longer
for my healer has arrived
clouds are dark no longer
for the sun turned on its light.

Lost Love Letter Left for my Lover

My Dearest,

My passion flows so deeply for you that I find words to be useless. There is a long forgotten flame that you've happened to stubble upon and ignited. I don't believe it could have been lit by anyone else. there is a heat in your touch that arouses my blood. And a texture in you voice that sails my skin. there is a vibration in you lips that tremble my nerves. and a lust in your eyes that vanishes the world. 

i would get lost in space with you. if you would hold me for all time. 

I will long remember these words verbatim in written sequences as i have rehearsed them repeatedly to the air. i touch the air as if you were there in front of me. i wrap my sheets around me as if it were your body pressed so tightly with mine like atoms infusing. i would be a chemical with you. we would never part. there would be no method to divide us equally to our independent states. 

my desire for you dives far past longing. i yearn for you as a weapon yearns for flesh. i copy your expressions in my memory to recall on after you have left. i dedicate moments in my day to you as to make you proud. i saved my fortress for you, king. no acknowledgements required. all of this is for the love i feel in your presents. it glows so warm that it carries me to our next encounter. a day without you is ten years without rain in the desert. and hours without you equates to centuries without sunlight in the north. 

i say this the only way i know how; in truth. and im sitting here at my desk contemplating heavens arrival, that is, when you come back to my arms, my love. when you are near my heart skips a beat and when we touch they race the same speed. and it responds only to you. you're my hearts only keeper, caller and desire. my soul reaches for you without my body knowing. am i possessed? 

nature is the most brilliant essence of virtue. and when i look into the moons radiant halo, all i seem to think about is you. a storm has cast over a city and the thunderous clouds remind me of your strength. a white dove flies passed my car window as it rains and i can only think of your gentleness. and upon thinking of the magnitude of a star, i am only brought back to your greatness. 

i don't want to know how. i am just happy that this is. i know you experience my joy when you witness unforeseen tears fall from my eyes in moments of silence between us. it is only necessary that we stay together. i cannot fathom an inch of time deprived of a single splash of you against the coating of my life. 


And if you're here I am here. I'll never be here without you. I'll never go there until you allow me to, with you. Be mine like a Valentine candy would quote. Run with me through a lifetime so we can catch up to eternity. Just you an me. 
From your immeasurable, indefinite, limitless Janae 
I dedicate my time and space 
to You 
Forever.